The Gift of Dissonance

I don't think we even know at times that we may be acting in a way incongruous with how we would really want to be living.  It  seems the case, at least to me, that what we may hold in our mind as a belief or a value we have for our life may at times be inconsistent, or dissonant, with what actually manifests in our reactions and actions.  Becoming someone who is responsive, or able to respond, in ways that we would want requires intentional work.  I think it requires being one who is willing to become more self aware and reflective, to be willing to enter a process with another or others in which you are willing to allow your life and perhaps those with whom you work or minister to become "living documents."  Living document is a descriptive term that is used in clinical pastoral education settings - the learning process that one willingly enters in order to become more effective in one's lived out practice of ministry and life. This "supervision" process is the place where I have personally found great growth in integration within myself and diminishing of my own experience of dissonance. For me, the gift of dissonance, was recognizing and processing it, not denying it or dismissing it. Out of a place of discomfort with myself came the greater gift of self awareness and integration.

It was a gift for me to be in congregational pastoral ministry for 14 years prior to establishing a center outside the walls of traditional church in order for people to come for personal and group spiritual direction and soul care ministry. We also now offer supervision for pastors and ministers, providing a safe place for processing and presenting oneself as a "living document" for the gift of greater growth and integration for one's practice of pastoral ministry. At this time when being a pastor is more and more stressful and challenging, "supervision" becomes essential. This kind of supervision offers space for theological reflection, to acknowledge dissonance and desire for growing self-awareness, for embracing a process that leads to authenticity and ethical actions, and a supportive place of prayer and ministry for the pastor's soul. This presents a model for ministry leadership that fosters leading from within, from a place of centered quiet and strength.